What killed science fiction?

"Hollywood tried to poison science fiction in the 1990s but TV was the real assassin. Horror and fantasy were the pallbearers. You dug the grave."

-- Michael Casher, science fiction author, 11-24-09

Salad Fairy

When I woke up this morning and entered the kitchen to turn on the coffeemaker, I saw that I'd been visited by the salad fairy.

"Happy Valley" Riddle

Q. How many people from Happy Valley, PA does it take to change a light bulb?

A. All of them.

So Quiet

This is what I saw but didn't hear today. In other words, it was a rare, quiet afternoon.

Redneck Riddle

Q. How many rednecks does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None. Only a fool would waste good beer money on light bulbs.

Another Thousand Words

Six Sentences I'd Like to Hear Again

1. "Attention, K-Mart shoppers!"

2. "Fill 'er up?"

3. "Fuller Brush!"

4. "Thank you."

5. "Now a word from our alternate sponsor."

6. "I'll just take a little off the top."

The Pause That Refreshes

Every now and then I like to stop and look at a goose. I'd stop and smell the roses but I don't have any roses.

Old Game Show Panelists I Really Miss

Steve Allen, Orson Bean, Kitty Carlisle, Peggy Cass, Arlene Francis, Dorothy Kilgallen, Jane Meadows, Henry Morgan, Bess Myerson, Betsy Palmer, Tom Poston, Bennett Cerf

Couch Potato

An inedible, biped vegetable with a tiny brain containing all the knowledge in the universe. Its habitats are dark interiors where television is readily available.

People Are Funny, Part II

If the year 1909 was called "nineteen-oh-nine" then why isn't the year 2009 called "twenty-oh-nine" instead of "two thousand nine"?

Cartoon Characters I'd Like to See Again

Clutch Cargo, Clyde Crashcup, Deputy Dawg, Dudley Do-Right, Huckleberry Hound, King Leonardo, Mr. Jinx, Mr. Magoo, Quick Draw McGraw, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Snagglepuss, Tom Terrific, Underdog